Saturday, March 15, 2014

Know your wines - and your drinks

*ALCOHOL FACTORY INTERVIEW*

Whatever you know, know it well, thoroughly, totally, and go even further.

In an alcohol factory on Obalende, the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A seeming drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. After all, he was a drunkard, a product of their production. He decided to have him tested anyway. His drunken state would most likely rat him out.

They tested him for quality control. They gave him a glass with a drink and asked him to identify it. He tried it and said: ”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope in the Americas, matured in steel containers.”

“That’s correct”, said a surprised and obviously impressed boss. "Give him another glass". ”It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope in Western Europe, oak barrels," the man answered in an almost off-hand manner.

“Correct.” The director was  now a mix of astonishment and wariness, for he was a shrewd businessman, but not big on integrity. He winked at his secretary - who was like-minded - to suggest something.

She winked back to show she got the cue, gingerly stepped out, and shortly after returned, bringing with her a glass of urine mixed with Pepsi.

The alcoholic tasted it, winced, hesitated, tasted it again, and said with a broad smile: "I am sure you are not interested in the Pepsi so I will just talk about the other constituent. It’s an Ijaw lady, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office; And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!”

The boss collapsed…

...and the secretary typed and delivered his appointment letter to him  at his house personally, at his house, at midnight, on his express request.

Know your stuff thoroughly, totally. That knowledge may bring you dividends.

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