Tuesday, September 29, 2015

OUTDOOR PISS AND OFFSHORE TALES

Category:A Set Of Random Thoughts


Here in Africa, forget Africa, here in Lagos, we guys have the license to pee anywhere. Into toilet bowls at home or in a friend's house, into gutters facing the roads or backing them, into bushes  while standing with legs spread wide apart and hips thrust forward, by the front tires of little buses and back tires of huge trucks, standing behind open passenger doors of saloon cars, legs together, feet apart, and in some really interesting cases, we pee right out in the open, standing side by side with other non-peeing guys who are drinking, smoking, gisting, and getting ready to pee.
It appears to me that we feel more comfortable with our outdoor pee-pisodes. I have had friends who have come visiting and who, as they left my house or office, turned to the nearest bush or gutter and unzipped their fly. Mind you, I have clean toilets in my house and office. I have had times also where I had just left a house where I could have asked to use the urinal and instead sought out the comfort of the privacy of the back tire of a parked bus to do my wee business.


So why do we like doing our wee business outdoors? It would be interesting to know. Definitely something a psychologist may have an opinion about.


As I am no psychologist, let me take this opportunity to wonder - why does this president prefer making important announcements from outside Nigeria? For instance, why did we have to learn from articles in foreign media that Nigerian government ministers would be appointed in September? 


Speaking of, today is September 29. And as they say, 30 days hath September. 


[Edit:ADD Sept 30, 2015, 1100HRS]
And why is it that I now hear that the president communicated his decision to be his own petroleum minister to another foreign media house, ehn? This president should learn to pee inside the house na. If the toilet bowls are dirty, let us clean them and use them. 

Why litter everything outside with our pee just because there are maggots in the loo which we built inside the house with our hard-earned naira and its not-so-visible kobo!!!